I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendship, a lot more than I ever have before.
In high school, friendship was easy. It’s easy to be friends when you see each other everyday, have the same mutual friends, live in the same town, participate in the same extra curricular events, etc.
In college, you have to really take the time to get to know people. Unfortunately, time is one thing you never seem to have enough of.
At this point, everyone has lived on this earth for 18+ years and are coming from across the country, sometimes even across the world. They’ve already experienced their fair share of ups and downs. Who they’re meant to be is already being molded and they have a pretty good idea of what they do/don’t want. I guess the point I’m trying to get at is that you really have to decide who you’re going to invest your time into.
Sounds kind of harsh, right? But it’s the truth. Friendship is beautiful because it’s light hearted and free. But it is also a gift from God that He expects us to invest in and take seriously. I’m going to quote C.S. Lewis again because he said it best:
“In friendship…we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years’ difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another…the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting–any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends, “Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.” The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
I don’t know about you, but I have the most beautiful friends. I love meeting new humans and seeing God’s beauty revealed in them. But my friends are also humans which means that I don’t always think that what they do is beautiful. I love this quote because it reminds me that they have been chosen for me. I have been chosen to be blessed by them; how lucky I am!. And for that I have to be grateful and loving.
I sometimes find it hard to let go of friendships. I reminisce on friendships I had in the past and become saddened. Sometimes I even feel guilty. Friends that vowed, “we’ll never lose touch,” did. Friends that said, “I’ll always be there for you,” weren’t. That scares me because at one point or another, I must have been that friend. That friend that promised to write every week and then didn’t, that promised to catch up over coffee every break and then didn’t.
I read a post by a blogger a while back that talked about being ‘friends for a season’. At first I thought it was kind of tragic. I value my friendships and I certainly don’t want to lose touch with my beautiful people. But then as I look back over my life I realize that it’s reality. I am learning that God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. Sometimes that’s a friend that must come and go. That’s okay, that’s beautiful too.
I’ve been thinking about how I want to be willing to pour into friendships while I have the time to do so. Because what if we aren’t meant to be forever friends, what if we’re friends for just a season? And then what if we are forever friends, how deep our friendship will be!
I guess the point that I’m trying to make here is that whether you’re friends for ever or just friends forever until tomorrow, I think it’s pretty wise to give it all you’ve got and ask God what that might be.
Isn’t it comforting to know that we’re always right where we need to be?