I almost do.

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So I’ve reached that point in life where my thoughts coi_almost_do_cover__taylor_swift__by_sapatoverde-d5q1dm9nsist of Taylor Swift break up song lyrics (not complaining because I love her, but still). Anyway, these particular lyrics have been on my mind as of late:

“I wish I could tell you it takes everything in me not to call you

And I wish I could run to you and I hope you know that every time I don’t, I almost do.

I confess, in my dreams you’re touching my face asking me if I want to start again with you

And I almost do.”

But as I think about those lyrics and get myself all depressed, some other lyrics come to mind:

“Oh, I’m running to Your arms, I’m running to Your arms, the riches of Your love will always be enough

Nothing compares to your embrace, Light of the World, forever reign.”

I’m in the process right now of growing in my reliance on God and less in my reliance on another person. That’s not to say that we don’t need each other, that’s FAR from the truth. But God is the One who needs to be my rock. He’s the one I need to focus on running to right now. I became very accustomed to running to someone else who couldn’t provide everything that I needed. Only God can do that. It’s too much of a strain on a relationship between two humans to have such high expectations…

While listening to a Podcast by Jefferson and Alyssa Bethke the other night I heard something that really spoke to me about this situation. I will not be ready to provide what I need to my significant other until my needs are met first and foremost in Christ. I realized that this could be my opportunity to do that. This could be my opportunity to learn what it really means to be fully satisfied with the Lord.

I mean, that’s the goal isn’t it? To be the best “little Christ” (as C.S. Lewis calls us) that we can be?

Also, this revelation goes along with my New Year’s resolution.

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